Ysabel Garcia was stung by racial microaggressions before she knew what they were.
Thirteen years ago, she immigrated from the Dominican Republic to the United States. Garcia spoke very little English and taught herself by watching television with subtitles. When the first-generation immigrant began interacting with people, one of the first things they did was make fun of her accent.
“A white man once told me, you’re very smart,” she says. “Have you thought of getting rid of your accent so you don’t sound dumb? You are intelligent, but your accent is getting in the way of people finding out that you’re intelligent, so get rid of it.”
Another person told her to “go back to your country, learn English, and then come back and talk to me.”
Garcia likens the pain she felt to mosquito bites. Some bites are small and others are large. While you can get treatment, the bites hurt and the scars remain. Garcia was 8 years old when she first began having suicidal thoughts, though she never tried to commit suicide.
“A lot of people with suicidal thoughts believe that the world will be better off without them,” she says. “That is one of the arguments that I made to myself when wanting to die.”
What are Racial Microaggressions?
Racial microaggressions are indirect or subtle everyday slights directed against minorities or people of color. While microaggressions can be intentional, they often masquerade as compliments.
In one of the last TikTok posts former Miss USA 2019 winner Cheslie Kryst made before she took her life in Feb 2022, she spoke about microaggressions she experienced. Kryst shared how she was told she was articulate.
“Which sounds like a compliment, but frequently when Black people hear this, what it sounds like to us is that I can speak clearly as a Black person and now you’re surprised and you’re giving me a compliment,” she said in the post.
In a statement after her death, Kryst’s mother April Simpkins said her daughter battled with “high-functioning depression which she hid from everyone.”
“The field of mental health has developed a theory called minority stress theory,” says Orson Morrison, PsyD, Director of DePaul Family and Community Services and owner of LifeSpan Counseling and Psychological Services.
“Minority individuals experience daily stress related to being racialized, being marginalized and being oppressed because of their minority status,” he says. “That daily stress has been linked in research to a variety of negative mental health outcomes —anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress and racial trauma.”
Masking the Pain of Racial Microaggressions
Garcia says suicide is very complex. People of color may have risk factors that don’t apply to white people like family, colorism or religion. But she says racial microaggressions that lead someone to commit suicide are likely one of many negative issues that compound over time. The pain is often connected to trauma and a feeling of not belonging.
“There is this combination, this accumulation of things and then there is a critical point in that person’s life that might lead them to say, I’m done, this is it,” she says. “That is when there is this, how do I escape from the pain type of question.”
Garcia is a suicide prevention advocate, educator, peer supporter and founder of Estoy Aqui, which translates to “I’m Here” in English.
The organization provides suicide prevention training and social justice education to organizations and institutions serving the Latinx and Black communities. As part of Garcia’s mental health training and public speaking engagements, she shows pictures of herself at 8 years old.
“I remember in those pictures, I already wanted to die,” Garcia says. “I was smiling. I looked very happy but I had what I described as emptiness. It was an emptiness I couldn’t explain.”
Morrison says Kryst’s suicide highlights how people of color often wear masks to cope with the daily microaggressions they experience.
“We have to develop a game face, we have to develop this exterior that everything is okay,” he says. “When you think about depression in the classic sense, you think about just laying in bed and crying and feeling hopeless. But for many people of color, depression doesn’t necessarily show up in that same way.”
Suicide Risk in People of Color
Clinical studies have established a connection between microaggressions against Black people and the risk of suicide.
Black adults disproportionately experience racial microaggressions more than any other group. Black men who experienced racial discrimination were more likely to have depression symptoms and thoughts of suicide at some point in their life.
In a separate study, Black college students indicated that microaggressions contributed to feelings of being a burden and not belonging, which led to higher levels of suicide ideation.
“It’s not that just because we experience microaggressions that we’re at a higher likelihood for suicidal ideation,” says Morrison. “There must be this internalization that happens as a result of these microaggressions that says I’m not worthy. I’m not good enough.”
Feelings of not being worthy also play a role in Asian American women (AAW) and suicide. One study examined what is called “gendered racial microaggressions stress” or GRMS. Asian American women that internalize negative images of themselves are at a higher risk for suicidal ideation.
Perceived discrimination led to increased suicide ideation in Asian and Hispanic college students and adults. Various studies on American Indian/Alaska Native individuals have shown a connection between microaggressions and suicidal thoughts.
Racial Microaggressions in the Workplace
Racial microaggressions are very common at work. Black women experience more of the slights, as they face the double whammy of sexism and racism. Black men working in predominantly white organizations may experience a more severe or a higher frequency of microaggressions compared with Black men working in racially and ethnically diverse work settings.
“The research is very clear that Black Americans face discrimination of any kind, specifically racial discrimination,” says Dr. Kamesha Spates, mental health advocate and associate professor in the Department of Sociology at Kent State University.
“It negatively impacts their mental health outcomes and increases the risk of suicidal behavior,” she adds. “Much of the research continues to highlight very similar feelings of isolation. Lack of mentorship in the workplace and having to battle the racial stereotypes about what it means to be, fill in the blank – a Black woman, Black man, Latinx individual, Asian American and so on, so forth.”
In her short film All the Little Things, award-winning director and screenwriter Meena Ayittey paints a picture of a young Black creative in an advertising agency who has been impacted by microaggressions. Research has highlighted racial discrimination in the advertising industry, lack of diversity and pay inequality.
“This is an industry that likes to think of itself as very progressive,” she says. “Yet, time and time again, people of color find themselves in situations where they are experiencing either microaggressions or finding themselves unable to work due to the conditions that they face in the workplace.”
Chinasa Elue, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Educational Leadership and Higher Education at Kennesaw State University, urges people experiencing racial microaggressions at work to quit their jobs. But she understands that’s easier said than done.
“We still have to find ways to make sure that we’re taking care of ourselves,” Elue says. “If we find that it’s to our detriment, whether physically or mentally, then I would say leave. They don’t deserve us.”
The Suicide Risk in Young Racial and Ethnic Minorities
Suicide risk is most concentrated at an earlier age for people of color (POC).
“POC who die by suicide die before the age of 30,” says Regina Miranda, co-director of the Youth Suicide Research Consortium and an Assistant Professor in Psychology at The New School. “This stands in stark contrast to the period of highest risk for suicide deaths in white populations, which is ages 40-60.”
Native American youth have the highest rate of suicide and suicidal behaviors compared to other groups. Black children under 13 years of age are twice as likely as their white counterparts to die by suicide.
In the United States and Puerto Rico, high rates of Latinx high school students have attempted suicide. Latinx students that experience racial microaggressions and come from lower socioeconomic backgrounds report greater depression, which is associated with increased suicidal ideation.
Miranda says many people of color experience racism and discrimination starting early in life, and “some argue predating birth through intergenerational transmission of historical and collective trauma rooted in the legacies of colonization and slavery.”
“Racism may increase suicide risk by adding undue mental health burdens on people, by limiting access to quality mental health care services, by disrupting social and emotional supports that could serve to mitigate risk,” she adds.
Racial Microaggressions in Mental Healthcare
Microaggressions have been described by many as “death by a thousand cuts.” People of color who decide to seek mental health help may face additional “cuts” or microaggressions in the quality or type of care they receive.
In 2012, Imade Nibokun was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. Three years later, the unemployed graduate school student found herself racing down the highway wanting to die.
“That was the wake-up call that I needed to get help,” she says. “That started a journey of me navigating the mental health system and realizing that I was met with a lot of criminalization.”
The counselors at the university Nibokun attended said she had to be put in the back of a police car to go to the hospital. Once she was hospitalized, Nibokun was placed on the most punitive floor of the hospital. She was surrounded by drooling Black women who were being treated with strong medication.
“When I protested the poor treatment that I received and my fellow patients received, I was tackled by three-plus nurses,” she says. “I was thrown into the isolation room, which is like solitary confinement for psychiatric hospitals. I was threatened that they would forcibly inject drugs to sedate me.”
Nibokun was scarred by the experience but ultimately received the correct diagnosis for her condition — borderline personality disorder. She founded Depressed While Black to share her story and highlight how different it is for Black people to navigate the mental health system.
“I want to be able to help Black folks so that they don’t go through the trauma that I did,” Nibokun says.
Breaking Down Barriers of Ignorance
To improve the understanding of racial microaggressions and suicide, Elue says people have to be willing to educate themselves on the lived experiences of others, especially on the corporate level.
“Organizational leaders need to have very candid conversations with themselves about what we want to stand for and be known as, as an organization,” she says. “What type of climate do we want to promote and support? And then what is required to make sure that we are doing that very thing that we say we want to do?”
Morrison says the social, environmental and historical causes of racial microaggressions people of color experience need to be examined instead of blaming the victims.
“It’s not what is wrong with you, it is what is wrong with our system,” he says. “What is wrong with our society that has perpetuated this. That’s an important therapeutic shift in my work with Black and brown folks. The locus of these issues is not inside of you. It’s embedded in our society.”
Garcia admits that she still has suicidal thoughts and thinks about the disparaging comments that were made to her 10 years ago. She stresses that just because someone thinks about committing suicide, it doesn’t mean they are going to take their life. But Garcia acknowledges that some Black and brown people see no other way out of their pain. What keeps her going are the candid conversations she has about mental health, equity and suicide prevention.
“The reason I am still alive is because I have a purpose, which is to talk about my story and the lessons I have learned,” she says. “Stories don’t need to have a happy ending. My story is still ongoing.”
